


I'll open a bottle up pour a little bit out in your memory

by rangerdanger985



Series: carry my aching soul [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Civil War (Marvel), Emotional Hurt, Everything Hurts, F/M, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rangerdanger985/pseuds/rangerdanger985
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My condolences,<br/>I'll shed a tear with your family.<br/>I'll open a bottle up, pour a little bit out in your memory.<br/>I'll be at the wake dressed in all black.<br/>I'll call out your name, but you won't call back.<br/>I'll hand a flower to your mother when I say goodbye.<br/>Cause baby you're dead to me.</p><p>there was only one way this was ever going to end, but how did it truly come to this?<br/>bother being pit against brother, sister against sister.<br/>siblings.<br/>parents.<br/>lovers.......<br/>how did it come to this?</p><p>My condolences,<br/>I'll shed a tear with your family.<br/>I'll open a bottle up, pour a little bit out in your memory.<br/>I'll be at the wake dressed in all black.<br/>I'll call out your name but you won't call back.<br/>I'll hand a flower to your mother when I say goodbye.<br/>Cause baby you're dead to me.<br/>I'll mourn you when you go.<br/>Baby you're dead to me.<br/>I'll mourn you when you go.<br/>Cause baby you're dead to me .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> as you already know this is a civil war AU separate from the real story line (or is it)  
> i didnt mean to write this but i couldnt get it out of my head and you must suffer as i have suffered!  
> not really i just wanna share the hurt.
> 
> the song is dead to me which inspired this work along with the 8tracks playlist 'dead sun raising' by i sleep on roses if you havent listened go do it, it is awesome.  
> this also started because i listened to this war is ours and drew some art which once i figure that part out i might post, or maybe ill but it on my tumblr.......  
> anyway, enjoy!  
> kudos sustain me!  
> RD

How did we get here? She wondered looking around at the chaos that had become a once beautiful city.

She felt the pain in her body as she rose to her feet around her bodies laid, uncontiose or dead.

So many dead.

Looking up through the smoke and the dust she saw a man, captain America stood there with his shield looking at her almost like he regretted that last blow, maybe he did.

She didn’t care, she shoved her hand forward with a cry of rage supporting it with her other, the repulser in her palm fired a blast of bright energy and he knelt raising the shield.

When her attack met it the blast exploded into a flare of energy so bright her visor darkened to protect her eyes.

Using it as a distraction she lunged and took down the man she once loved straddling him and pinning his arms she started to punch him.

But then something flew into her graving her and yanking her off of Steve.

With a cry of outrage she turned her head saw it was the falcon aka Sam Wilson, her former friend current enemy.

“Sorry” she breathed and shoved her hand backward repulser charging.

He dropped her and dodged the blast as she flipped and landed on her feet.

She was standing on a pile of rubble and as she looked she saw the massacre this fight had turned into, blood on the streets and on her hands.

“do you see what you’ve done!” she turned her head to her former lover standing there mask torn from his face, she didn’t know if it was by an attack or if she’d just damaged it enough it was no longer wearable.

He raised his arm motioning to the chaos “do you see what this disagreement has caused! Stop this. Stop your brother. Please Elizabeth stop this before it becomes a war!”

She looked back out “there is no stopping it Steve, it’s already a war!”

She looked back at him turning to fully face him face plate going clear “this became a war long before the first drop of blood was spilled here today, there was no stopping it ever we met this was always coming, there's only one way to end it and I'm doing that today”

Her mask rose to cover her mouth voice distorting “if I end you I end this war!” he braced himself absorbed the power of her lunge and flipped her over making her land on her back “not today!”

The first blow of the shield on her body was agonizing not because it hurt, though hello vibranium shield! Didn’t matter if she wore armor or not that would smart for a few days.

No what hurt the most was who delivered the blows.

Soon she didn’t know how, if it was because she stopped fighting or because the original was always better than a copy, but she finally felt the next blow of the shield that was supposed to be a body shot hit her right in the face it smashed her visor and broke her mask.

Woozy she fell one arm hanging over the edge of a pile of debris she groaned softly, ear ringing, not just from the blow but also from the sudden silence.

They had stopped fighting, everyone staring up at their leaders looking to see which one would be the winner, which serpents head would finally be cut off.

Her vision blurred and she barely opened her eyes and they turned to Steve who stood gasping like he'd run a marathon raising the shield one last time.

The sun peeked through to smoke and haze backlighting the man like some kind of avenging angel, shinning off the edge of the shield she could hear someone screaming her name, crying out for her.

She knew it was her brother but she couldn’t be bothered by that.

She felt her lips twitch as she looked at him managing a weak smile “there he is” she said quietly and saw him freeze as if he was no more than some kind of statue.

“Give up, just surrender and stop this killing”

She smirked bitterly at herself “you know I can’t do that... well what are you waiting for? This will end the war. It’s the only way. Do it”

She saw him clench his jaw drawing back just a little more then with a cry he struck, her brother screamed a denial, but she just closed her eyes.

It was the only way.

 

-3 weeks earlier-

Beth opened her eyes when she felt the bed dip, she saw the expanse of muscled skin could smell the soap from the shower, the hair on his neck still damp, baby hairs curling against his skin.

She slipped up closer to him taking a deep breath and let it out against his neck she watched goose bumps travel down his arm before draping her own over his side pressing her hand against his chest, he moved his hand to press on top of her own “I thought you were asleep”

With a smirk she shifted until her chin rested on his shoulder “I've developed a nasty habit where it’s hard to sleep when you’re not beside me” he turned his head to look at her and she saw a scrape on his cheek bone “sorry” his lips twitched a little on one side.

Pressing a kiss to the skin in front of her she rested her cheek against it closing her eyes “don't lie, I know you love having me so addicted to you” note moving his hand from on top of hers he shifted his other to stroke down her face pushing away a strand of hair “you know I do”

It felt good, being touched so gently again, recently they had seemed to be growing apart no matter how much they clutched to each other.

She hated that feeling more than anything else.

Turning her head she kissed his palm smiling then looked back at him, there was a strange expression in his eyes “hey do you remember the vacation house?” she asked off the wall, the look in his eyes heated up as the side of his mouth twitched.

“How can I forget” those words gave her a flash of that vacation, the moans and names whispered into skin the time he figured out she really did love him, not just the way he looked.

Though he was a cute little shit without the serum.

“What say we go back there once this is all over, looks like you could use a vacation” he smiled then turned over quicker than she gave him credit for and settled between her legs “sure, but I know what I could use right now”

She laughed into his kiss the sound quickly turning into a moan when he pulled her against him tighter, she hummed when he pulled away to breath “I think I created a monster that night”

He nuzzled her jaw “you know you love it” he murmured against her ear before gently biting down making her squirm underneath him “you got that right” she muttered trailing the hand he didn’t hold down up his neck to grave a hand full of hair and pulled, hard.

He hissed slightly but she felt the interest from below and knew he loved it, and took the chance to kiss him.

She would never get tired of this man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one might be a little strange in a couple of parts, i originally wrote it as steve working with shield and was half way done when i looked it up and found out he was fighting against them.
> 
> then again i havent read the comics so you cant blame me for thinking tony was the one fighting with the rebels.

Things were deteriorating fast, and Beth could do nothing but watch, tony would snip at Steve and Steve would snip back.

All because of the whole stupid superhuman registration act.

She didn’t agree with it, knew it would just hurt people in the end but she also knew some of these super humans needed to be monitored.

They had fought too many people not for them to be.

But as she watched she saw the way it was tearing her family apart, tony left his own tower and she knew he was living in the mansion in California, others had followed him, unease was stirring and people were striking out.

She hated it; she hated the way her brother had looked at her before flying off, like she had betrayed him.

Clint and Thor followed her brother, and soon others were also following him, he was building an army, weather he knew it or not.

Steve was pulling away from her again, burying himself in his work and trying to find Bucky he started coming home less. And less.

Then he started coming home injured and he wouldn’t talk to her about it so she started taking the edge off, she found alcohol didn’t do it unless it was 100% alcohol, it gave her a nice buzz she missed from before the serum.

Finally after Steve spent three days off the grid and came back with healing bruises and scrapes and his arm in a sling she suited up.

“where are you going?” he demanded she glanced at him “to talk to my brother about stopping this before it’s too late” he tried to stop her but her mask came up and she blasted into the sky.

She was nearly blasted out of the sky when she reached the place but got lucky it was a warning shot and landed heavily in the middle of the drive outside the front door, she looked around, among the roses she found tents and people milling about most of them watching her she put her hands on her hips and walked straight inside shoving past the big guy in front of the door.

“move it I need to talk to my brother” Clint who was sitting in the kitchen motioned down the hall “in the library” she nodded “nice to see you to bird brain” then walked down the hall she felt eyes on her but didn’t care just shoved open the doors and walked inside.

Tony was sitting behind a desk rubbing his head but looked up when she walked in “the hell is going on ton?” she demanded he glanced behind her and she saw the dark circles under his eyes, the raggedness of his hair and goatee.

She kicked the doors closed and approached the man “tony? What's going on, Steve won’t tell me anything but he keeps coming home injured” her brother lowered his eyes “do you remember how I said we couldn’t trust shield?” she nodded “it’s been years but yeah kind of, why” he looked back at her “you might want to sit down”

He pulled up video footage, explained how people had been gathering to protest the superhuman registration act, the camera showed something quite like what was outside, tents put up people milling about.

It almost looked like a military base she recognized the shield logo.

Until things started to explode “it’s a shield facility, it was attacked and a lot of agents were killed, it wasn’t a onetime thing either, Boston new York, Chicago, all across the us people have been attacking shield” she stared in horror then looked at him “but, why, we have to let Steve know if he knew they were doing this he’d do something” his hand on top of hers stopped her the look in his eyes scared her.

“Take a closer look” he keyed up the video again but this time paused it and zoomed in and her world shrunk down to the size of a pin.

Steve stood shield in hand pointing at something and clearly yelling orders, standing right in the center of the carnage “Lizzy? I'm sorry Liz” her brother tried to grave her shoulder but she jerked and stepped away shivering “no, this, that can’t be right, he would never, no” she shook her head.

“I'm sorry Lizzy I just. I don't know what to do I can’t, Lizzy? Lizzy!” he called after her as she ran out knocking aside people and blasting into the sky her face wet with tears but it didn’t last for long.

She landed on the side of a hill and collapsed to her knees hands covering her face she screamed her betrayal to the uncaring sky.

\---

When Steve returned from yet another one of his disappearing acts he heard the sound of guns and explosions so he guessed Beth had returned.

Walking inside he saw what looked like a war scene pulled up on the TV “Beth you back? How’d it go with your brother” the video paused not that he was paying attention to it.

There was no reply so he went to investigate, Beth was sitting on the coffee table still in her armor and there was a bottle in her hand “Beth?” he got concerned because he could see the wetness on her face but she wouldn’t look at him.

“care to explain this to me?” she motioned toured the TV, paused on a shot of what looked like a ten city burning, and he stood in the middle of it, Steve went cold looking at it “Beth it’s not what it looks like” 

That made her laugh “you know when someone says that its almost always exactly what it looks like” she looked at him now “is it?!” she demanded and he held up a placating hand “Beth, we just went there to talk, they wanted to sort out some kind of deal or something” she snorted into the bottle she was taking a drink from almost choking “that's looks like one hell of a talk Steve”

She stood up and turned away walking to the fridge to grave what looked like a bottle of something “damn it we didn’t mean for that to happen, they got nerves and it just got out of hand” she didn’t look at him “but it happened didn’t it? And people died. If that was an accident tell me what happened in Boston, and Chicago, and in every other state!”

Her throat hurt from the scream but she didn’t care she spun around to face him “were those accidents to?” his eyes were wide like he didn’t know what she was talking about “tell me Steve why do you always come in injured, is that why? Are these, these raids why you don't come home most nights?!”

He looked at her with his brows furrowed “what do you want me to say Beth? I didn’t mean for them to die but the way their gathering, the recent activity their stock piling weapons, their dangerous and we need to do something” he knew the moment he said it that it was the wrong thing because her face contorted with rage.

“They are my brother, and shield is just defending themselves, their human their weaker. Why do you think their doing this registration thing in the first place, because that” she motioned toured the TV “is a pretty good example of why” his lips twisted slightly “and what's going to happen if they do pass it? It won’t go back to the way it used to be I can tell you that right now” she raised a brow at him “so we should let them run around unchecked?”

He looked at her unimpressed “you sound just like fury”

She laughed “wow nice observation and you sure are fighting the good fight for the underdogs, maybe they’ll give you a metal for killing everyone once it’s over” she pushed passed him and he graved her arm “Elizabeth who do you think I am!” she looked at his hand on her arm before swatting it away

“A good soldier or maybe not since your rebelling, super humans are dangerous and you watch people who are dangerous, why do you care so much anyway, it can’t be a sense of familiarity, of brotherhood, you’re not a superhuman” he released her “stop it” she turned to face him fully “do you really think they’ll accept you as one of their own? They’ll use you until they get what they want then you’ll be the next person on their list” he clenched his teeth “shut up” he hissed “oh there it is get use to that anger cap because it’s all that's going to keep you going, it doesn't matter what you do for them it doesn't change anything, you’re not a superhuman, or a human, your just like me, a fucking lab experiment!” he squeezed his eyes closed “I said shut up” he swung his arm around.

The sound of flash meeting flesh was loud in the sudden silence.

She turned her head slowly to look at him on cheek bright red a small trickle of blood trailing from the corner of her mouth she reached up and brushed at it with her hand looking at the stain on her skin she looked back at him.

“so that's the way its gonna go after all” he saw tears welling up in her eyes and he was even more horrified with himself for ever raising a hand to her that wasn’t the kind of man he was he didn’t hit women.

He tried to reach out for her but she stepped back away from him “god Beth I didn’t” she shook her head and laughed “no I guess you didn’t did you? Thank you Steve for making the decision clear for me” her voice was thick and he knew she was so close to crying he felt like less than the scum on a bastards boots.

How could he have touched her like that?

“Ya know at first” she started looking off to the side “I agreed with you, but all of this?” she motioned to the TV and the still frozen image of him in the middle of what could only be a massacre “the secrets? The disappearing? You’re falling right in line with the less favorable superhuman kind”

She looked at him and the shining in her eyes ripped a hole in his chest “you’re just like them” she turned away “Beth wait” he reached out for her but he was too late because she flew away through the still open doors to the balcony.

Lightning struck somewhere with an explosion when he ran out lighting the sky like a supernova he thought he saw just a glimpse of thor through the clouds but it was gone when he blinked.

\---

The moment she left she started to break down, she herd the thunder and felt warmth around her she looked up eyes blurring to see thor had wrapped his arms around her.

“are you alright m’lady?” she didn’t ask since when did he call her that she just ducked her head “let’s just go” she said hiccupping slightly he nodded and as they turned away she herd it “Elizabeth!” she closed her eyes and covered her mouth a knife twisting in her chest.

Lightning struck again.

It was silent as they flew and when she landed in front of what had clearly become the base of shield operations.

Tony came running out of the building being soaked by the rain that had started falling some time during the flight “god Lizzy, what happened” he fell to his knees in front of her as her helmet retracted he touched her cheek “god did he”

She reached up and graved her brothers hand “you were right” he went silent and pulled her into a hug “so what do we do know?” he asked as she pulled away and she rose head head he saw the sorrow in her eyes but it had apparently taken a back seat to the anger no broiling in her body.

“gather your soldiers and your arms” she stood slowly “and I’ll need to borrow some of your tools” he tilted his head looking at her “why?” she looked back at him “because I'm going to have to fight, the time to be without arms is over, war has begun”


	3. Chapter 3

She shoved away the alcohol she had made for herself instead burying herself in work, redesigning her suit planting an arc reactor in the chest, making it more like her brothers suit with gunmetal grey and neon blue.

She also stood with her brother going to meeting, gathering supplies, talking to congressmen and even the president.

It didn’t matter what she had to say what she had to do.

She was in the middle of a war and it was one she had to win.

They caught word that one of their weapons holdings was going to be attacked, it was an old one barely used but it would make quite a bang, by the time the super humans and Steve got to the old building they had moved everything.

It had been two weeks since she had left and Steve missed her and regretted every second of their last conversation.

He thought he herd something from above so he went to investigate, found nothing but a empty office with a a single desk and a chair still standing, he didn’t see anything until something made the roof cave in he ducked covering himself with his shield and when it stopped he looked up.

A suit of armor stood there, in gunmetal grey and neon blue the owners face covered by a neon blue mask and a dark tented visor which suddenly retracted and he was staring right at the woman who had haunted his dreams.

“Hiya ice balls. You look like crap”

He hadn't slept in a week he wondered why, he herd people running toured the room and glanced back as the falcon stepped up and she turned her head “hey Sam long time no see” the man went stiff unsure of what to do “take everyone back to base I’ll catch up”

Sam looked at Steve “cap” he trailed off and Steve turned his head “do it” he ordered, after a moment Sam nodded and disappeared leaving them alone.

They stared at each other for a few moments before Steve finally spoke “saw you on TV the other day” he said she glanced down kicking a rock “lot of people did, your too late ya know, we've moved everything to a secure location, you'd lose more than you gain trying to dispose of everything”

He looked to the side “you know I have to try” he said and she nodded with a sigh “yeah I know, just like the good old days” she chuckled to herself “I remember those, back when you or your brother would do something stupid and put yourselves in danger” she smiled a little “and then you'd be all ‘gosh darn it I told you not to do that’ and we wouldn’t listen” 

They both shared a chuckle looking at each other then looked away with a sigh “things sure have changed” she saw Steve nod “what are we doing?” he asked and she looked at him “I don't know what you’re doing cap, I never did, but I'm doing what you always told me to do, I'm committing”

He looked at her eyes begging so many things “please help me put an end to this before people have to die” she looked down “things have changed, I've committed to this, and I have to see it through” 

“even if innocent people have to die?” she looked at him sharply “I'm doing what I have to do to keep innocent people safe” his eyes hardened “last time someone tried to do what they’re doing now Hitler was still breathing”

She turned to face him fully “you comparing us to Hitler?” she demanded and he rubbed his face “no damn it, I don't want to fight you” she chuckled “to late for that one cap, this started a long time ago, it’s just not coming to a head, who do you think is stronger” she approached a step.

“the original or the copy” he gave her a hard look “why don't you take off that armor and we find out” without taking her eyes away she glared at him and pressed on a piece of her armor and with a clicking sound it disassembled from her body landing in a pile at her feet.

All she wore under it was an almost skin tight black shirt and pants, silver lines showed the circuity sown into the material.

She raised her fists and stood ready “just don't try any more cheek shots” that cut him deep and he dropped the shield, lunging forward she swung a weak left hook toured her body which she side stepped and rammed her leg into his middle. 

He was reluctant to fight her but she cleared that up real quick with the second blow to his face.

They each gave as well as they received until finally he pinned her down against the desk and she smirked “doesn't this bring back memories” she panted and he growled at her “what are you talking about”

She smirked and let her legs fall open on either side of him making him slip a little closer “now do you remember?” she questioned the warm look in his eyes was all the answer she needed and all the warning she got before he graved a handful of hair and yanked her up into a kiss almost hard enough to hurt.

This too was a fight for them none of their usual gentleness, no, even a kiss was a battle now and it made her sad thinking about it which also made her angry made her grave a handful of his own hair and yank so she could bite his throat, leaving a mark she knew would be gone in only a few hours.

They struggled with the others pants until finally they could be joined, desperate as if this simple act could make everything better, make everything the way to use to be, but all it seemed to be was relieve their stress for the moment and remind them of things that could never be again.

She pretended the only reason she held him so close was so she could get that little extra friction where she wanted it, just like she pretended the dampness on her shoulder was sweat and not tears.

After when they had redressed she stood apart from him her armor refitting itself over her body.

He paused on his way on to look back at her some strange expression in his eyes “I'm sorry it’s come to this” she looked at him something so familure passing between them before disappearing a moment latter.

She shook her head “All is fair in love and war” she said and he sighed looking down “which one is this?” she looked back at him “both” he closed his eyes like she had caused him physical pain with just that one word 

“I love you Beth” she looked away because those words caused her pain “you know I love you as well” he turned to her “then why can’t we stop this before to goes to a point we can’t anymore” she looked at him sorrow in her eyes.

“because its already gone too far, there is no right and wrong anymore Steve” she turned her back to him helmet covering her face and her tears but he still saw them “now it’s just winners and losers, those that survive and those that do not”

He shook his head “you can’t believe that” she bower her head repulsers whirring “it’s all that's left” he voice sounded small and then as he reached for her, to comfort her the only way he knew how, she blasted through the hole in the ceiling disappearing into the sky.

She wished so desperately that she could stop this but she couldn’t.

It was just too late.


	4. Chapter 4

The day began like any other; she was up before the sun and watched the sky go blood red with the rising sun, watched as shield agents scurried about the place to keep themselves in shape in case anything happened.

It stopped being like any other day when things started to explode.

The first thing to go was the munitions tent, the second thing the sleeping tents.

Still rocking from the explosions she ran toured the library that had transformed into a lab/meeting room and she threw open the doors to see her brother already there.

The third thing to explode was the library which seemed to set off a chain reaction everything was on fire, everything was demolished.

The only good news was it seemed like only a hand full of people got hurt but no one was killed.

The ruble that use to be a beautiful house shifted and iron man and iron jacket rose from the debris helmet retracting she looked around at the ruins but what really angered her was the remains of the garden and the roses that her mother had put her very heart and soul into planting and nourishing, the plants she and her mother hand bonded over until she was prematurely taken from Beth's life.

The roses only one man knew held significant value.

“Everyone that's able grave a weapon! We’re ending this today!” she called out 

\---

Across town in the subway that had been shut down for years and converted to their meeting point Steve looked at his army battered and bruised from assault and attacks they weren't prepared for.

It left a lot to be desired for in the terms of army but it was more than strong enough.

“They attack us in our home, where we feel safe?” Steve demanded after hearing about the explosions in the tent cities, people had died; children had died in those explosions.

He never thought they would harm children “there wasn’t even anything there” Luke cage said arms crossed “it was just a place to sleep and eat” Steve shook head head leaning on a table the pushed off “that's it” he turned and faced everyone “prepare yourselves, we end this today!” 

A cheer went up through the gathered people; they had been waiting for this.

Neither army thought to question how the explosives wound up in each other’s bases.

\---

They met in the middle of Manhattan, shield flying in, at first they stared each other down “you finally here to give up and turn yourselves in?” Beth demanded from where she hovered just off the ground.

Steve glared at her, she didn’t have her visor tented so he could see her expression, and it was filled with hate.

“You ready to admit gathering super humans up like cattle and branding them is a mistake?” he demanded she growled “you sure you want to do this?” tony asked from his place beside her.

Steve's eyes narrowed “you’ve already sealed your fate” he said he knew they would know he spoke of the bombs.

No more words were spoken as the armies suddenly charged at each other as if a thinly stretched wire had finally been broken.

Steve stared at her and tony as the armies parted around them flowing like waves and colliding in the middle of the street.

It didn’t take long for the first army to suffer a loss, a young superhuman who couldn’t have been older than 20 lying dead on the ground for the others to trample.

And that sealed captain America’s fate in her eyes, she never thought he would allow a child to die in a war he probably didn’t even understand.

\---

She saw him clench his jaw drawing back just a little more then with a cry he struck, her brother screamed a denial, but she just closed her eyes.

It was the only way.

She felt the impact of the shield hitting the earth but no pain, when she opened her eyes she found it buried in the ground just inches from her face she could see her reflection where the pain had been scraped off.

Her brow furrowed in confusion and she looked back Steve was knelt head bowed and she could see how ragged his breathing was and when he looked up at her his eyes held her in place “it’s over” he said and a tear slid silently down his face.

He left the shield there and jumped down from the mound they had been on.

“Cap what are you doing?” Johnny storm asked flames receding as he stared at the man as he walked away “it’s over Johnny” he said “if we give up now they’ll arrest all of us, we were winning back there, we’re so close to what we want why-” Steve cut him off not raising his head to show the tears slipping freely down his face and over his mask washing away trails of dirt and dust.

“We were winning everything but the argument” that made everyone fall silent as Steve looked around saw the people super humans and humans alike bleeding on the ground, some of them already dead.

“Is this what we were fighting for? To kill each other? Like dogs in the street?” everyone looked at each other “what is the difference between us, were both killing each other and claiming self-defense, I see that now” 

He glanced back at Beth who had risen to her hands and knees one arm wrapped around herself her brothers hands on her shoulders keeping her steady as she looked at him “were just hurting ourselves and the ones we love, this war is useless” he turned and faced the quinjet that had just arrived looking as heavily armed agents came out.

He removed his helmet looking straight at them and let it fall to the ground before lacing his fingers hands behind his head and willingly went to his knees.

That was about the time the pain became too much and her eyes slipped closed.

\---

They placed him in a holding cell and he just sat staring out the window, in return for his surrender no one else would be charged, the smoke was starting to clear and the sun seemed to be too weak from fighting its own battles to do more than glimmer in the distance.

He heard a door open but didn’t look away from the window.

“Seems like not even the sun wants anything to do with us anymore dose it?” he turned his head muscles creaking from not being moved for so long, how long had he been there?

Beth stood on the other side of the cell door; wearing blue jeans and a button down under a sport jacket she held a tray in her hands.

He tilted his head in confusion “they demote you to feeding prisoners now?” he asked she chuckled and shook her head “they said you haven’t been responding to them when they brought food, so figured I’d give it a shot”

His brows furrowed in confusion “you’re the first person that's come here” now she tilted her head “shield are assholes but I didn’t think they were that bad” she opened the cell and stepped inside setting the tray on a small desk like shelf.

Steve turned his head away drawing up his leg to slide his arms around he rested his cheek on it and looked back outside “not hungry” he muttered and heard a shifting, a glance showed shed settled into the singe chair in the room sitting backward in it the way that was always a surefire annoyance to him.

She knew something was wrong when he didn’t even comment on it “it’s been two days cap, how can you not be hungry” his brow furrowed and his head tilted “two days? That would explain why you’re not in medical” she smirked “give me some credit here cap”

That nickname hurt and he couldn’t look at her so he sighed then nodded toured the still open cell door “not afraid I’d make a break for it?” he asked sarcastically she shrugged arms crossed on the back of the chair “maybe I want you to, I don't know. Haven't quite decided yet”

That made him look at her brows turning down “what do you mean?” he questioned and she looked straight at him “you remember stark manor? The roses my mother planted and cared for like children?” he nodded slowly confused.

“Did you or one of yours happen to plant a bomb in that garden?” he sat back eyes wide “what? I know what those things meant to you, I would never” she reached out and covered his mouth with her hand “that's all I needed to know”

He tilted his head and swatted weakly at her hand “what do you mean?” she sat back lowering her voice “I think we've been being played” he sat up fully giving he his full attention “why?”

“Because stark manors nothing but a pile of splinters, someone planted explosives blew it sky high with me and my brother still inside, they hit the munitions, the sleeping quarters, then the library, even the garden”

Steve stared at her something in his eyes “about what time?” he asked and she leaned back humming “bout 9am”

He shook his head “that's the same time one of the superhuman camps got blown up, a lot of people died lot of kids” she covered her mouth for a moment whispering something he didn’t catch.

“We were manipulated. It couldn’t be a coincidence that we both got bombed at the same time when there’s how many miles between us?”

He looked down thinking to many “I'm sorry this ever happened Beth, I never should have let it go this far, should have said something sooner”

She shook her head looking at him realizing what he did about what she just said “none of this was your fault, you got swept up in a bigger game being played by much more powerful players. Hell we all did”

He peered up at her “I do love you Beth, but I can understand” she reached out and covered his mouth again smiling gently “I love you to Stevie and if not even a war can change that what hope dose anything else have?” he smiled and grasped her hand pressing a kiss against her palm.

She shifted her other hand to stroke against the side of his face just as something started outside.

Glancing up she pulled away from him to look out the window and smirked with a chuckle “protesters, they’ve been at it since they brought you in here” Steve looked at her confused “protesters for what? They couldn’t want me out after what I did, the damage I caused” she snorted “hey glory hog you’re not the only one that was leading an army and destroying down town Manhattan, your just had superpowers. Mostly” she returned to her seat as he reached for the food surprised by his sudden hunger.

“so what is it” he nodded toured the window “oh it’s the whole set him free thing, among others, not that it matters, toss a coin wrong and people here will throw a protest saying you either cheated or that its heads when it landed on tails”

He snorted “sounds about right” he glanced up “that's not how you sit in a chair” she grinned “there he is, for a second I thought I might ‘a lost ya Stevie”

The nickname sent a pleasant feeling light in his stomach; he pretended it was just the food.

Later he was being walked toured a court house through a crowd of protesters that were both for and against him, it was a little unnerving made only slightly less so with Beth standing on one side of him and Rodney on the other, war machine had stayed neutral in the war and agreed that something didn’t smell right.

Shield gents were shoving a path that quickly closed again behind them and they thought they were home free when they were on the stairs to the court house and had more room to breathe.

Turns out it was worst.

A single gunshot echoed through the air and it had people scattering “shots fired! Where did that come from?” Rodney demanded as she felt Steve trip she thought he just lost his balance and she was right but the reason he lost his balance was completely different.

The single shot had landed right in his knee she shifted so she could take his weight and from the corner of her eye she saw another guy coming toured them he had a bag so she thought he was a doctor until he got closer and pulled out a sawed off shotgun it aimed right for her “watch out” suddenly she was shoved to the ground just a moment before the blast was herd.

She could feel the heat of the shot and pulled out a hand gun from the back of her pants turning over she fired and the man’s head exploded, pushing herself up she pressed a hand to her ear “we need a medic, rogers is wounded” she said as she stood up and looked at Steve, his color looked off and he looked unsteady on his feet, starting to tip she caught him “easy big guy, little cut shouldn’t be nothing” something felt off and then she realized, he had taken the shot.

Her hand was wet on his abdomen she gasped and took his weight when she relised what it was “Steve? Steve!” she lowered him down to the steps “stay with me stay with me, Steve! Keep your eyes on me!” blood was sliding down his face and she raised her hands to touch him “Steve? Steve!” he barely responded eyes twitching like he fought to keep them open.

“Rogers is down! Find that sniper! And get us a medic!” she herd Rodney say at a distance as Steve closed his eyes she took her hands away from trying to control the bleeding, she knew already but she couldn’t accept it.

“Steve, no!” his jaw clenched several times “Beth” it sounded like he was having difficulties breathing, “the crowed” she was already shaking her head “don't worry about them shield is taking care of it” he struggled to open his eyes “no, more innocent” his body went stiff with pain or something else she didn’t know.

She shifted wrapping her arms around him her face wet “Steve, come on baby, you owe me a dance so hang in there ok?” his bloody lips twitched a little “s-sorry can’t da-da” he couldn’t get the word out his eyes were closing “don't worry Stevie, I’ll teach you, it’s not as hard as it looks”

She felt his body going slack as she held him close head tucked under her chin as she held him stroking his hair with one hand “Beth” he whispered voice sounding so strained “hush, just rest baby, just rest” there was a choking sound “lo-ve” silence.

She closed her eyes shifting her head to press her face into his hair her hand going from his hair to his chest.

It stayed unmoving under her palm and her lip started to shake “oh god, Steve, no” she shook her head whispering that word against and again, unwilling or unable to accept the fact that he was gone.

“Steve” she moaned brokenly and only held tighter when a hand touched her shoulder.

“Come on baby girl” someone said and she looked up at her brother and leapt into his arms holding on tight “I just got him back” she said body shaking with her grief.

He tried to sooth her petting her hair and holding her as tight she could “I know hush, shush, it’s gonna be ok” slowly she started to move and before she knew it she was sitting someplace warm, wrapped in a blanket and her brother was still there.

Still trying to console her grief to keep her from drowning.

Someone knocked on the door and tony got up whispering something a man entered she didn’t look up but she knew it was Sam, he approached her and knelt down on the floor his face was wet.

“Steve gave me something to keep safe, said if he wanted to give it to you once everything was over, if you both saw an end to the war” she turned her eyes to look he held a box in his hands and the tears returned.

She covered her mouth “Steve. Sam please tell me he wasn’t” the dark skinned man nodded before taking a breath to steady himself “he was going to ask you to marry him, if you would have him after the war”

She took the small box in her shaking hands then lunged forward graving Sam in a hug and started crying, harder than before “of course I would have had him” she hiccupped into his shirt and felt his arms come around her holding her tightly “that would have made his millennia”

She just cried harder body shaking with the force of her sobs, Sam didn’t complain.


	5. Chapter 5

No one would allow her to know exactly where the sniper was being kept, they had good reason she would have killed him no matter what he said and they needed him alive to tell them what hydra was planning.

They probably hadn't meant to let it slip that it was hydra but she knew already.

She walked down the hall face grim and eyes colored. There were agents in front of the door “is he in there?” she asked they shivered under her gaze “yes ma'am” one of them said “my brother been here already?” they nodded and she walked passed them going into the room.

He face went soft “hey baby” Steve's body laid on a table limp and pale still in his uniform.

Someone had placed his shield over his chest.

She sat heavily in the only chair in the room and stared at him for a moment s if expecting a breath that would never come, a smile that she would never see again.

She reached out to grasp the hand they hung limply over the edge of the table.

“We found out what happened hydra was trying to weaken us so they could come in and take over; they played our strengths against each other. We caught the sniper, they won’t let me near him and I guess that's a good thing because I wouldn’t walk out of that room with clean hands, you know how I am” she stared at him until her eyes hurt and then she looked away.

“I guess I never explained why I did this why I chose this side, I know tony probably explained it all when he came here but now it’s my turn. I knew I’d have to choose this side, my brother was the one fury left in change, in turn I had to keep an eye on him make sure he didn’t get over his head. He'd need my help he never had the head for business and if we were going to do anything then a smooth talked was needed and you know how smooth I can be”

She laughed at herself and shook her head looking down.

“Truthfully if not me, who else is there, Who would do this, I didn’t have many options so I sucked it up and did what I thought I had to do, even before that fight I was going to join my brother, I knew I couldn’t fight against him and I couldn’t stay on the fence, if I didn’t commit thousands of people were going to die, I know I should have put more faith in you but I was scared I did what I thought I needed to do to end it quickly but I guess I just drew it out”

She shook her head tears dripping off her chin.

“I knew it meant wed never speak again, or be friends or partners, let alone lovers, I said I was ok with it because I didn’t think I’d be the one sitting here and you'd be” she bit her cheek hard enough to taste coper “I thought it was the right thing to do but I was wrong and so blind, I got into bed with people we despised to get it done. I knew people loved the underdog and that I would be the bad guy this time, I knew it and I said I was ok with it”

She ducked her head holding tighter to his hand she couldn’t let go 

“Even though I said I was willing to go all the way with it I wasn’t, I never wanted anyone to get hurt. All of shield hates me and tony they want fury back and were more than ready to hand it back over to him, I don't know if they’ll let us walk away but we can’t be a part of this anymore, I can’t be a part of it! He one thing I truly came here to prevent happening has come to pass. I can’t live with this, knowing I caused this if even indirectly, even if I was being used”

She looked back at him “for all our arguing and all we've said and done to each other out of misplaced anger and hurt, for every hard question I had to ask or answer, every horrible lie I had to tell just to further my own end there's still one thing I can’t bear to say, one thing I can’t tell anyone, not my coworkers not my ‘friends’ not even my brother the one thing I should have said that I should have told you so many times but now I cant. God Steve”

She bent her head pulling her hand away to hold her head “it wasn’t worth it. This should never have happened and then this” she folded her arms around herself “I meant to tell you when I came to your cell but I got sidetracked. That's me never saying what matters when I have the chance” she was shivering face wet with fresh tears.

“I’m pregnant Steve, I wish I could have seen your face when I told you, I bet it would have been so stupid” she tried to smile but couldn’t “I’ll make sure they hear every story about ever adventure their daddy ever had, they’ll knew more about you than you know about yourself. I’ll make sure I raise them right”

She reached out again this time curling one hand around his and brushing at his hair with her other “so please Steve, learn to dance before I get there, you’ll have plenty of time to learn”

Pushing at his hair she bent forward and pressed a kiss into his slack lips before she had to turn and walk away.

\---

The day of his funeral she stood there and stared at him everyone keeping their distance so she could say her final goodbye. 

She reached into her jacket and pulled out two items, the first was a box matching the one he wanted to give her, the second was a photo, she lifted his hand to place both under it the photo was a sonogram, the twins she carried no more than beans in the grainy image, the box held the ring she would have given him.

She hoped it brought him peace.

She rested her hand above his own for a moment before bending to kiss his forehead on last time committing his scent to memory “I do” she whispered and then turned away from his flag draped coffin, her brother had to accept the flag because she couldn’t handle it.

He was buried with full honors his shield resting like a guardian on the lid of the pine box.

“How did it come to this?” she whimpered once it disappeared from sight standing there with her brother holding her “you know he wouldn’t have gone out any other way than protecting you” he said voice tight holding back his own grief.

She sniffed and looked at the sky, seeing the storm clouds rolling in “they’ll pay for this, I swear. I won’t rest until every last hydra soldier is dead” her brother just held her close and led her away.

Grasping the flag to her chest she looked back once more before looking away.


	6. Chapter 6

Three months later she kept her promise she tracked down every single hydra base and made sure every last member was eradicated and their base’s destroyed.

And after it was over she settled into the rebuilt stark manor.

Her stomach was huge and she missed Steve desperately, she kept imagining what he would do or say in different scenarios and it would send her into a fit for days.

Sam took up the mantle of captain America, and she hung up her armor to raise the last pieces of Steve she would ever have.

She was nine months and ready to pop when it happened.

Somehow she had missed a hydra solder in her eradication and they had managed to sneak into the house, he held a strange gun and he only got off one shot before her brother and Natasha took him down, but he had made it count.

She felt the effect immediately, her body going weak, her lungs failing her.

And then something came out with a rush, her water broke.

They laid her in bed Bruce monitoring her closely he figured out it was the same thing that had hit Steve so long ago, her serum being deactivated.

She might not make it.

She gripped tony and Sam’s hands screaming as she pushed and breathed and pushed again.

When she herd the cries she felt so relieved, they were alive, the twins, a little boy and a little girl.

She was so weak Sam had to roll her on her side as the babies were cleaned and placed beside of her “are they alright?” she asked weakly barely able to lift her arm to touch them Bruce nodded face tight.

“Their perfectly fine” she sighed “what are their names?” she glanced at her brother laying her arm around the children “Steven Jacobi rogers, and Marybeth Olivia rogers” tony shifter sniffing slightly “good names” he muttered and she reached out

He took her hand and she guided it to the sleeping children “I know you and pepper can’t, this is my last gift to you, little brother”

Her eyes were getting heavy and the way he was looking at her he didn’t believe what she was saying “I can go in peace knowing they’ll be taken care of” his eyes went huge “no you’re not” he shook his head tears suddenly clumping on his face “I fulfilled my promise to you, even if I could keep my promise to Steve, I've been there for you for as long as I can”

She looked at the infants gently fussing under their hands “promise me you’ll be there for them in the same way” he nodded sniffling “I promise, big sister” she smiled weakly and let her arm drape around the babies gently nuzzling them “the greatest gift Steve could give me, I pass it on to you now”

She let her eyes close finally as tony let out a gut wrenching sob.

Only once she stopped moving did the babies start to make a fuss and cry, tony gathered them both in his arms, holding them close to his chest and they settled down.

They left the house soon after leaving her withered form in her bed they set fire to the manor and tony stood watching as it burned.

The garden this time remained untouched.


	7. Chapter 7

She didn’t know what was happening, she was in bed but she couldn’t move, it was hot, everything was on fire and she couldn’t move couldn’t scream, she watched as a beam creaked weakened by fire and then it fell right for her.

She squeezed her eyes shut and felt the impact and then her eyes shot open and she was in her lab.

She looked around wildly looking at the equipment and tools, a trail of drool on the table, had it been a dream?

She patted herself down and found herself uninjured her stomach unrounded.

Suddenly struck with a thought she spun around and ran up the stairs taking them two at a time running so fast she nearly ran into him “whoa where’s the fire Beth?” she looked at starred at Steve.

His hair like strands of gold eyes a deep ocean blue, he was beautiful and she felt herself start to shake her eyes welling up as she fell to her knees “what's wrong? Beth?” he knelt in front of her reaching for her and she graved his hands in her own holding tight and she squeezed her eyes shut 

“Steve, it wasn’t worth it I'm so sorry, it wasn’t worth it” she sobbed.

He was confused by what she was saying so just bent forward and wrapped his arms around her she buried her face in his neck repeating it over and over again “I'm sorry it wasn’t worth it, I love you I'm so sorry”

Picking her up he carried her back toured their room laying her down on the bed and curled around her, she soon tired herself out and fell asleep.

Steve wondered what that was all about but shrugged it off as her having a bad dream and buried his face in her hair, and then he smelled it.

He took a deep whiff of her hair and her clothing but it was just her hair.

Why did she smell like wood smoke?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was rough, but i made it all better in the end!!!! kind of.
> 
> anyway i'm working on the next installment and you might be surprised with some of the turns it takes and the people that show up.
> 
> love it? hate it? wanna kill me in my sleep? let me know in the comments below and let me know if you find any spelling mistakes i dont have a beta but i try to read through my stuff.
> 
> let me know on my tumblr if you would like to play with my oc's
> 
> BTW heres a peek at next months story.
> 
> 'the gunshot was so close it made steves ears ring, he could feel the heat of the bullet as it passed.  
> looking up and around he tried to find the shooter, with the enemys all but gone he had time.
> 
> finally his eyes settled on a open window and he caught just the barest flash of silver, he didnt go after them, he knew they would already be gone, they always were'
> 
> who could it possibly be?
> 
> if you want a specific person to make a appearance let me know below!  
> kudos are love!  
> RD  
> http://danger-r-98-5.tumblr.com/


	8. Chapter 8

fight scene between steve and beth


End file.
